White coat. Heels.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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