I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
