just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
