I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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