The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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