You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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