the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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