I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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