I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
