Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
