Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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