So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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