he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Damn victory sex feels great
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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