It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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