..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
too bad you live with your parents still
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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