i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
