Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
