omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
