I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
