Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I supernannyed him into submission
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
