FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
