I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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