and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
