Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
