I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
