Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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