that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
