i permit you to call me
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
