I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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