Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
