So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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