Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My cat gives me a boner
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
