everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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