Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize