Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We named our party play list daddy issues
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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