No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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