I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
