sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
