I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
