It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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