I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
