We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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