it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
