no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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