we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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