SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You're like the curious george of whores
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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