We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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