he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
