just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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