well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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