The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
another moral hangover. fuck.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
