i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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