Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
