do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
