Ambien. No doubt about it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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