no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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