Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
