Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
