If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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