my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
