Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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