the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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