thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
