your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
